Here is a shot out to savethelivesofthelost
Thank you for your comment that you left on my last entry. I am very happy too and well I hope things work out how they should. I must admit though that I am very scared, I haven’t completely let anybody in since my last serious relationship. I’m afraid that I’ll get hurt but I’m willing to risk that to see where this could go. I feel a part of me is telling me to pull away but it is only because I know what it feels like to get your heart broken. However, even if things weren’t to work out, I know I’ll be fine. I went through it once, came out with a few scars, scars that made me stronger, and well look at me now: I’m happy, I’m loving life, I’m making healthy decisions, and I’m starting to go down a healthy path. Did I think I get there? No, for a while I thought, “This is my life now. I’m going to struggle to be happy each and every day. It’s going to be an effort.” That is no longer the case.
I have reached peace with myself, I still have a long way to go, but I’m on the right track. I’m scared, yes, but who isn’t? Am I concerned that if things weren’t to work out, that I’ll go back to the unhealthy self? Yes, but I know that this time around I have the tools to stay away from that self. This time around I have in me the strength and courage to make it through. Will it be hard? Yes, but nothing in life is easy, nothing in life is just given to you in a silver platter. I’m fighting my own demons, my own battles, and so far I’ve done great, and have all those fights been hard? Yes, and look how far I have made it. I’ve said it once and I’ll keep saying it over and over again until it is ingrained in my brain, I AM NOT GIVING UP.
I am not giving up because I finally see the beauty of life, the people that love me, and how much more I have yet to look forward to. That gift was taken from me once, I’m not letting anyone take it from me again. I fought for 20 years to get to this point in my life and it was a long hard fight. I didn’t shed all those tears to give all my progress up that easily. I didn’t wake up morning after morning with the empty feeling to disregard my progress. I didn’t held on to that last bit of hope that I had, to fall back into the dark hole that I was in for so long.
I love this new me who is optimistic, strong, brave, full of life, hopeful, and kind. I’m not letting her go anywhere. I hope that you see all these things in you as well and that you keep on pushing. We were given this kind of life for a reason, maybe it was to inspire others, or maybe to help others see that they can do it too. I’m still searching for that reason but I’m happy enough to know that I have a purpose, no matter what that purpose may be.
STAY STRONG! STAY POSITIVE! AND REMEMBER YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!